“It’s okay to help other people as long as it’s not at the expense of yourself.”
~ Eboni Rivera
This statement is something that I’ve repeatedly rattled off my tongue to my loved ones throughout the years, yet its a piece of advice that I’ve failed to take.
The past 18 months of my life have been a living hell personally, with only the last six playing out in a very public manner. With everything going on, I’ve still managed to give myself consistently and selflessly to everyone else but EBONI.
From volunteer projects to charity fundraising, mentoring people for free, being the class mom and a plethora of obligations that I’ve managed to pile on my plate.
So much has happened to me:
The tragic death of a loved one.
The near death of my grandmother
Medical assessments for my child
and good ol‘ fashioned stressing about all the things that I have no damn control over in the first place so I shouldn’t be worrying about it.
All this to say that I need a break before I break. And I have absolutely no shame in admitting that. I’ve been on the road to burn out for quite a while now and honestly, at present I’m running on fumes. I need to learn how to put my oxygen mask on first, then assist other passengers.
I read a quote the other day that found its way into my feed that was the wakeup call that my soul has been longing for this entire time.
Now, I’m usually the one doing the inspiring, but I guess reading that was like permission to stop giving to everyone else and to begin my journey of self-preservation and healing.
As much as it breaks my heart, I think it’s essential for me to take a step away from all the extra curriculum photography activities and focus on my health, my children, my business and the job that I love working for. Anything else will have to take a back seat (f0r now) until I’m able to refuel my charge back up to 100 percent. This goes for personal projects I declared doing earlier this year, volunteer work, charity events, and so on.
I can’t pour from an empty cup.
It’s time to silence the noise that’s been consuming my life and find a way to be comfortable in the silence.
Anyway, these are just a few ramblings that I’m sitting and writing while I’m up at 3:48 am in the morning, plagued with insomnia.
I need to take my butt to bed.